We defend our president with guns.

We defend our congressmen with guns.

We defend our governors with guns.

We defend our celebrities with guns.

We defend our sporting events with guns.

We defend our banks with guns.

We defend our jewelry stores with guns.

We defend our office buildings with guns.

We defend our factories with guns.

We defend our courts with guns.

We allow our law enforcement officers to defend themselves with guns.

But we defend our children with a sign that reads:

“THIS IS A GUN FREE ZONE.”

… And then call someone with a gun if there’s an emergency.